Here’s another wonderful run-on metaphor from Dave Barry’s great book, “Bad Habits”, a 100% fact free book. This time the subject is pornography, which he takes pains to explain that he is opposed to, claiming that it is directly related to increased drug abuse, unemployment, international terrorism, all-polyester clothing, and above all, violence. As I have mentioned before, Dave’s run-on metaphors are so bad, they’re wonderful. Enjoy!
Pornography is like tooth decay, eating slowly away at the molars of our morals, and if it is not stopped we will wind up as a toothless nation, gumming at the raw meat of international competition while the drool of decadence dribbles down our collective chin and messes up the clean tablecloth of our children’s futures.